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4/17/2007
When Siblings Feel Left Out
Siblings may feel left out and even guilty that they are healthy
 If hemophilia becomes the focus of your family, siblings may feel left out and even guilty that they are healthy. Remember to recognize the needs of all your children, including those not affected by hemophilia.
Siblings may blame themselves for causing a bleed, but it’s important to remind them that even if they did cause a bleed by playing too hard, they didn’t cause the hemophilia.
Other possible sibling behaviors may include:
- Minimizing their own needs to avoid bothering the family
- Acting out as a way to gain some attention – negative attention can feel better than no attention at all!
- Unwillingness to participate in activities appropriate for them because their affected sibling cannot join in
Consider these tips for recognizing the needs of the rest of your family: - Encourage everyone to get involved in activities that they are able to do. This may not be easy to do, but try discussing it.
- The way you discipline must be safe and appropriate for all of your children. Avoid the temptation to treat your son with hemophilia differently than you treat your other children.
- Your expectations regarding their abilities, interests, and aptitude should be consistent for all your children. Feelings and accomplishments of siblings should be respected and praised.
- Provide age-appropriate education about hemophilia to your non-affected children. If you have a daughter, when she is ready to understand, carefully explain about carrier risk and what testing is involved.
At a recent Living With Hemophilia event, one parent shared a comment from her child: “I wish I had hemophilia.” How has your family coped with hemophilia? Do you have tips to share with other families? When do you plan to explain to your daughter about carrier risk? Share your tips and experiences by posting a review to this article, and check here regularly to find new ideas submitted by others.
Here are resources for helping to understand the needs of your non-affected children:
- Parents Empowering Parents (PEP) is an innovative peer-to-peer skills training program supported by Bayer HealthCare to introduce parents to the tools for handling the realities of raising a child with a bleeding disorder. Since 1995, more than 87 HTCs have implemented a PEP program. Local PEP programs are led by HTC social workers, parents and health care professionals who use classroom discussions, role playing and hands-on experiences to educate parents about the types of skills needed for effective parenting. Click here to attend the next PEP workshop in your area.
- NHF’s First Steps program is a collaborative model of new parent/family education. Chapters, associations, hemophilia treatment centers (HTCs), parents and guardians work together to provide education and support for families.
Achieving a family balance that works for you can be challenging. For assistance, go to: Strike the Best Family Balance.
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